It’s now hard to remember a time when Twitter wasn’t synonymous with losing lots of money and public embarrassment. Under Elon Musk’s stewardship it has become the Kevin Spacey of social media.
Now Musk has only gone and announced that he’s going to get rid of the sites famous blue bird because nothing attracts investors quite like taking a globally recognised logo and replacing it with an X.

But what exactly is now so wrong with Twitter? In the words of certain Pythons “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!This bird is deceased, kaput, it Twitters no more!”

So let’s look at a timeline of calamity,Musk, and this once beloved Tweety outlet. A place for friends, family, and Global Terrorism. A once happy place that has descended into a sticky morass of hate speech, conspiracy nuts, and copyright theft.

–He kicked things off with an appalling dad’s joke.

“I’ve just bought Twitter, let that sink in,” Musk wrote, attaching a video in which he enters the offices carrying a sink. Look, I appreciate a dad’s joke, but – in this case – it certainly did soon sink in. Especially for the 3500 Twitter staff he automatically made redundant. As well as cracking dad jokes it seems this dad also kicked things off by smashing the punchbowl and throwing all of your friends out of the party, even though it was for his own birthday in the first place.

–He then lost half of the sites advertising revenue by complaining about losing advertising revenue

His reason for the mass redundancies was thatthe site was losing advertising revenue. He Tweeted right after the job cuts:
“Twitter has had a massive drop in revenue, due to activist groups pressuring advertisers, even though nothing has changed with content moderation, and we did everything we could to appease the activists. Extremely messed up! They’re trying to destroy free speech in America. Unfortunately there is no choice when the company is losing over $4M/day”

Nice one, dad! $4 million is actually a piddling amount when you consider the entire enterprise is now valued at $15 Billion after he paid $44 billion for it in the first place.
It’s beginning to look like he’ll soon have to seek out the same tax advisors as Jimmy Carr and Gary Barlow OBE (Offshore Banking Expert.)
Mind you, he’s probably due a nice rebate after he files his taxes because he has made such a massive loss on his purchase of the aforementioned Tweety place.

–Then he decided to publicly humiliate an employee who asked if he’d been sacked.

Yup, just like a typical dad he then embarrassed himself even more after having a humiliating Twitter exchange in which he appeared to mock a disabled worker. Obviously, this is now getting to be only like a typical dad if your dad happens to be Roseanne Barr.
In the original tweet, senior product designer Halli Thorleifsson wrote: “Dear Elon Musk, 9 days ago the access to my work computer was cut, along with about 200 other Twitter employees. However, your head of HR is not able to confirm if I am an employee or not. You’ve not answered my emails. Maybe if enough people retweet, you’ll answer me here?”
The platform’s uber lord replied curtly: “What work have you been doing?” before proceeding to engage in a back-and-forth that read like a live job interview with the Gestapo. Questions included: “What changes did you make to help with the youths?” Plus more funny dad stuff with infantile comments like: “Pics or it didn’t happen.”
The Twitter boss later said that he had received bad information (possibly from his own reflection) about the situation, and had a video call with the affected staff member to apologise. And then sacked him.

–Announced That People Would have to Pay for Twitter Blue

In an interview with the BBC, the Tesla and SpaceX boss said Twitter’s legacy blue ticks “will all be gone by next week.”
And just like that, in an exodus we’ve not seen the likes of since Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt, also gone was nearly every celebrity that once had one as well. Bye, bye, Stephen Fry.

–Reinstated and then re-blocked Kanye West

I mean… Where do you even start with this one. In the name of ‘free speech’ (Read ‘hate’ for ‘free’) Musk reinstated Kanye West and a number of other controversial accounts which included Donald Trump, Andrew Tate, and the Taliban. Just shows you how far you can get as long as you’re willing to pay for the wee blue badge.
After some “advice” from Musk himself, Kanye retook to the platform with the same abandon a four-year-old shows when they take to a bouncy castle.
West was then formally banned from Twitter after posting an image of a swastika superimposed into an image of the Star of David. As you do. The symbol came after West went on a long anti-Semitic rant on Alex Jones’ show where he claimed, “I like Hitler.” In response, even rabid right wing conspiracy nut Jones was asking Kanye reign it in a bit. Which is a bit like Jimmy Savile visiting Michael Jackson’s funfair and saying, “You’re giving the game away, mate.”

Look, we’re just going to stop listing things now. This is going to go on and on. But other stuff does include:

Banned respected journalists (good old free speech.)

Decimated the company value.

Lost his place as worlds richest twat.

Stood down as CEO (Possibly the only smart move he’s done).

He’s now going to get rid of it altogether and change it to an X for reasons only he can understand. What the X stand for nobody knows. X – marks the spot where he buried the company. X successful brand. X-Man Apocalypse might be a good guess.

Let that sink in.